What’s Holding You Back?

(Overcoming bullies, abuse, shyness, embracing imperfections and why you deserve to step past this and start living).

A letter to you.

I remember little Jo. Everyone called her quiet. She was painfully shy, and she always felt lonely and sad.

I now realize that I was the perfect target for bullies. They  could hurt me and I would walk away, with my head held down…

My parents and teachers thought there was something wrong with me. Like I had a personality disorder or learning disability.

But what they didn’t realize was that I was just following“the rules”.

Growing up as a first generation Taiwanese American in Guam, girls were supposed to keep quiet. No one encouraged me to speak my mind or taught me that my opinion was valuable. I didn’t even know what it meant to have an opinion.

I was “living” in line  with my cultural and societal norms.

The problem was that I suffered for it.

It’s painful to look back at that little girl who got picked on and teased by bullies. Bullies who took my vulnerability as a welcome mat to attack.

Now, I realize...

NOW I realize that I was just a sensitive and introverted person. 

NOW I know that my sensitivity is one of my superpowers. (Yeah, i used to get sensitive about being called sensitive hah! 

I now realize that I was very smart with a lot of ideas and eventually learned to own and voice my opinions. 

But for the longest time, I was afraid to open up and step out of the box I was born into. 

It’s like learned helplessness.

When a lion is chained up its whole life, it learns how far it can go and learns to live within those boundaries. Once you remove its chains, it will still stay within those bounds and never learns to push beyond those invisible walls. Even though the physical chains are no longer there, there are invisible mental and emotional chains holding the lion hostage.

That’s what life was like for me. That’s what held ME back.

I used to HATE when people called me quiet or shy. I used to hate wanting to say something, but having no sounds come out of my mouth. 

There is nothing wrong with being shy, quiet, sensitive, or introverted! There are a shit-ton of happy and successful introverts in the world. 

You don’t have to be the loudest one in the room to get noticed.

After professional coaching training, I realized I have leadership qualities that I never knew existed. My mentors and master coaches drew out my unique gifts and inspired me to share them with others who, like me, we are prisoners to their painful past.

As soon as I re-framed my life, I was able to see that my past experiences  MADE me. I see that the little girl who was bullied, silenced and teased is a part of who I am, and I opened up to reinvent myself now. 

You don’t have to deny your painful past. 

You are also not defined by it.

It’s ok to have compassion for yourself. accept this: YOU as a beautiful, whole and integrated human with SO much to offer the world.

Every experience in your life happened for a reason.

This is my big truth. And if it speaks to you, I invite you to take it on too.

Each failure is a lesson for you to improve and an opportunity for you to step forgive and love yourself even deeper..each success is a celebration  and builds upon the foundation of what makes you, YOU!


So what’s holding you back? 

What’s getting in your way of achieving your dreams?

Are you afraid to have dreams? 

Dare to dream BIG.

Some people have been let down so many times in life that they just give up. They resign themselves to the status quo or worse, they passively let life happen to them. They numb out and go on autopilot. 

That’s the biggest shame of all.

You can have and be so much more.

The first tiny step is to believe in yourself. You are worthy of happiness and success.

In order to get the confidence you need, stop overthinking how other people will react to what you say or do and focus on what’s good for YOU.

What do you want your life to look like?

What kind of relationships do you want to have?

I was silenced through many toxic relationships that held me back in my life. At the time I felt stuck. I couldn’t speak up or ask for my  needs to be met. I’m not even sure I knew exactly what I needed at the time. We’re not taught that.

F*ck that.

I’m done with that.

When I decided to F the filter and live life as my true, fully expressed self, I don’t get involved in those types of relationships. Period. And if I do find myself in a situation that isn’t working for me, I don’t just sit and suffer like i used to all those years. 

No more.

I speak up. I assert my needs.f it doesn’t work out,I move on.

I speak up.

Even when it’s hard. Even when it means I might lose my home(true story).

The thing is, it’s so hard to to do it alone.

As I mentioned earlier, I knew loneliness from a young age, but the loneliest and most isolating times were when I was in toxic relationships with no one to turn to.

My passion is to help other women who feel stuck in their past, women who are paralyzed with the fear of failure– or fear of success,to heal their self worth and become confident..


I wouldn’t have been able to get to this point in my own life without the help of my mentors.

It’s my turn to step up.

To be brave and confident enough.

To use my leadership skills to make an impact on the lives of others, especially amazing powerful women who aren’t naturally the life of the party and the “look-at-me!” center of attention types.

There’s room for ALL personality types in the world.

Each and everyone of you is Loveable AF right now, exactly as you are.

In my coaching program and community we help each other overcome the obstacles holding us back from living the lives we really want. 

Join me as I start my own Instagram movement #loveableafnow as I travel around talking to people about why they are amazing just the way they are (imperfections and all).

This empowering movement will inspire us all to see the awesomeness in each person, the beauty in their “flaws”. 

And guess what? Witnessing this will  in turn free you to recognize your own awesomeness that may be trapped and overpowered by your painful past.

You deserve to live a fully expressed, badass happy life that gives you energy and lets you reach your fullest potential.

It all begins with your believing that you are #loveableafnow!

The moment I began to fully accept myself and love myself, was the same moment people around me started telling me how much I inspire them with my words. 

The moment I said F the filter and started to share the wisdom in my heart with others, my life completely changed.

There’s no turning back.

Now I’m determined to help as many people as I can to re-invent themselves. You are truly Loveable AF right now!

Our painful past doesn’t need to imprison us–but they built us and are integral parts of who we’ve become and can be a springboard for re-inventing you today!

You deserve to start living your best life now with all your (loveable) imperfections…

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Fuck the Filter

Jo Huang is a Confidence Coach to

Women Globally

Let’s take over the world 😉